Sunday, June 13, 2010

joining the late nighters

the pastor always stays up way later than i do and sometimes the little dog joins him.  tonight, i made a poor life choice and all three of us are night owling.

you may or may not know this about me, but i am a horrible sleeper.  i all to often have crazy dreams where i wake up anxious, nervous, and feeling like i can't breathe.  in real life i am not an anxious or worrisome person, but in my sleep i seem to experience a lot of anxiety.

so where is the poor life choice?  i'm getting there.

so the second thing you may or may not know about me is that the only other time i experience severe anxiety, other than in my sleep, is in suspenseful movies or scary movies. you may be thinking that everyone does. however, i promise you my level of stress from the suspense is unlike any other person i have ever met.  its not even the scary act or the chase that gets to me.  its more the weight of the situation and the reaction of breathlessness of the people around me that sends my heart rate through the roof and leaves me with the same feeling that i frequently experience in the middle of the night.

so here comes the poor life decision...

i was exhausted today and the minute it became dark i justified getting in bed.  as i got into bed i decided to "on demand" the lovely bones.  i read the book in high school and hadn't remembered it correctly.  30 min later i was not asleep as planned, but sitting straight up in bed feeling rather panicked.  now hours later here i am making this observation of my insanity from the couch with the boys.

so here's my observation from the couch tonight...

i am totally and completely nuts.

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